You can't write this stuff... well originally at least, you can write it afterwards...

As all fourteen of our Ohao readers know, I hate old people beyond human comprehension, which means the only people who can register the amount of hate I have for geriatrics are Super Sayins.

I'll give you a hint, it's OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!

So believe me when I say that even this event threw me for a loop.


As per my usual Tuesday routine, I woke up at noon, fell back asleep, woke up, masturbated to soft core cable porn, fell back a sleep, woke up, played Rock Band 2, masturbated to hardcore goblin porn and then finally put clothes on and headed out to go catch the bus to film school at around 2:00.

I get on the first bus and ride it till it's end (Much like Patrick and Woody's mothers, depending on which one of them is reading this.) and transferred to another bus which is the norm. I'm going to reiterate this point of fact in case we have any new readers from this swarthy bastard's link to me (Which I thank him and his swarthiness for), I enjoy my own personal space. I like a bubble around me, that all people should respect. Unless I give you some sort of sign, or we've known each other for a while, or you're slipping a single into my waistband, stay a good two feet away at all times.

Now, the bus comes to a stop (I myself staring out a window with no particular connection to the real world wondering if it's possible to "Force Molest" people) and old man clambers his way up the steps and sits in my seat. This guy is so close he's almost sitting in my damned lap. So I look around and notice an empty seat right next to us and call to mind the "Seat Rule" in theaters. If you walk into a theater and there is ONE other guy sitting in a seat, you do not pick a seat with in a three seat radius of him in all directions! Unless you are looking to rape him, then generally a movie theater would be a good place to do it, it's dark and you have him for a whole two hours.

The bus continues on it's route and in my head I'm just REAMING this old guy, blasting out insult after insult, threat after threat. Watching as more and more seats open up and this guy doesn't move and aging muscle. So after a good many stops the bus pulls to another halt and the old man rises from his seat, now I'm quick to claim back my space by way of a backpack but as I watch the old man leave the bus, I notice that he's tapping a cane out in front of him.

That's when I realized... I had just spent the last fifteen minutes yelling at a blind old man for not realizing that I was sitting in a seat he has probably sat in several times before, I didn't feel bad or remorseful or anything about it, I was just amazed at how witty reality is sometimes.

The universe loves to fuck with me man.