You may have seen these mechanized beasts, lumbering along the roads, carting around the unwashed masses, but many of you have most likely seen the inside of a bus aside from the yellow school variety. Recently as a film school student with no car I have been taking the bus to my classes. On the first day I exited my home and instantly cursed the world and all of it's inhabitants as the cold air shot through me like the round of a skilled sniper, freezing my testicles into orbs of solid ice, which shattered when I began to walk and they bumped against my leg. With a sack full of shards in my pants and a chip on my shoulder I boarded the bus and stared awkwardly at the horrible master of the giant vehicle while I shoveled a handful of quarters into the proper place and requested a transfer ticket in a pleasant cockney accent. With a dejected grunt the man/woman/thing handed me my ticket and I took my seat. As I sat on the shaking seat, trying to make my peace with whatever god I could think of every time it made a turn I watched the other passengers board the bus. Pretty soon I found myself in the presence of Ed Asner and Sasquatch himself, I inquired Sasquatch if he could spare an autograph to which he replied "Go take a seat on an industrial drill". Which was quite shocking because I wasn't aware that Sasquatch was fluent in English, let alone did he have a biting New York accent, but what he did confirm is that Sasquatch is a very tall beast. This brings me to my first irritant. Tall people. 
Tall people have no respect. Now this is of course a generalization, but this is my blog, with my opinions so you the reader will believe what ever I say. As I was saying, tall people have no respect. They stomp around with their giant feet crushing the townsfolk and smashing buildings with their horrible fists. No one knows why they do this. Scientists at the OHAO Institute for Scientifical Science think it's because they are just assholes. There is no other place however that tall people are the bane of society then at the movies. Tall people seem to be unaware of their own height and thus don't seem to understand what they are doing wrong when they set down right in front of another person in a movie theater. This is a situation that many of us Dawrven folk find ourselves in almost every time we go to the movies. TALL PEOPLE, SIT IN THE BACK WHERE YOUR GIANT HEADS DO NOT OBSTRUCT THE VIEW OF THE OTHER PATRONS. This also seems to happen in my Development of Film Expression class, which irks me because you'd think in a film school there would be some movie etiquette, but no, still my perfect seat is sullied by a thick necked man-mountain taking up half the frame.
As Sasquatch exited the bus, another one of my irritants took his place. An old person.
The bus came to a stop and hissed as it lowered itself so that the new passenger could get on easier. The first thing that made its way onto the bus was a long cane, pulling along behind it a wrinkled shell of a man who practically reeked of the smell of Death's looming shadow. I removed my feet from the seat in front of me which was clearly marked for the elderly or the handicapped but that seat wasn't good enough for the ancient bastard. The man instead sat down on the same seat as myself. Now as you have come to notice, I am a bit of a misanthrope. I dislike the general public because I find them disgusting idiots, not worth the junk I find in the bottom of my boots. So sitting next to me is not something I enjoy. I may be wrong (which Woody and Patrick will be the first to point out) but I'm sure that personal space existed back in the 1930s. The unseen bubble that keeps us at acceptable distances from each other and me away from the people I hate. Namely, old people. I loathe old people. They are generally useless, everything they loved is either dead or obsolete, and you could break them in half as easy as you can stomp Smurfs with golf shoes. I would be much happier if we took that route imagined by visionaries Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. A world where the old past a certain age are sent to an entirely different planet, away from us young folk. Of course this is not with out it's exceptions. Only the useful old people would be able to stay with society. Old men like Keith Richards, who must be at least 400 years old by now.
So, my final point is this.... Hmm... I don't think I have a clever final point... I just really fucking hate old people and tall people.... Also, in an homage to Ash Williams I have named my penis "My Boomstick". Hail to the king baby.
