But there are so many different organizations with this goal in mind; it can be hard to find the right one for you. So we here at Ohao have compiled a helpful guide for you to choose your fate.
Mission statement: Good old SPECTRE. Really, the name says it all: the SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. So basically, they're douche bags for hire! A group of intelligent people who could have used their intellects to better mankind...but instead decided that they'd rather A) take over the world, B) Steal as much money from the world as they can, C) Blow shit up, or D) All three! It's like a hat-trick of evil!
The Boss: Working for SPECTRE will be an exciting experience, with lots of potential for career advancement. Especially since the management is always getting reshuffled. Mainly due to piranha related firings. But the head honcho is super genius and Cat Fancier Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Seriously, with a name like that, how could he be cruel? He's a nice enough guy...although he does tend to change his appearance often, so you'll have to be on your toes.
Ignore the scar...he's sensitive
The Office: Well, this one depends. SPECTRE has many franchises around the globe, and if you're a regional manager, you can have your base of operations built however you want. Fancy a volcano layer? Done! How about a phallic space ship? Creepy, but done! Hell you can have your own island if you want. Let's see Cinnabon make that claim.
Dress Code: If you're interested in a career at SPECTRE, you'll be relieved to know that the dress code is rather lax. If you're one of the elite members of the organization, you can dress as outlandishly as you like, who knows, you might even get metal hands! And if you're in more of the henchman class, no worries, standard issue jumpsuits will make picking what to wear in the morning a breeze.
The Down Side: Well, you're probably going to have to deal with a hairy little British man who just seems to want to piss on your parade. But don't worry, you're probably going to have an incredibly awesome death that will make people reading your obituary super jealous.
Turns out Lex Luthor is Jesus. Suck it Dan Brown
The Boss: Oh look, another bald guy. That seems to be definitive proof baldness leads to super villainy. Oh well. At least Lex Luthor isn't that bad. And the Legion is rather democratic anyway. As long as you're one of the twelve baddies on the council, there's a good chance that you'll get your voice heard. Unless your Solomon Grundy, because then no one will listen to you. Because you're stupid. And probably smell bad. Like, truck stop mens room bad.
The Office: When working for the Legion of Doom, you'll have full access to the Hall of Doom. Even though it may look like Darth Vader's head, the Hall is fully equipped with state of the art defense mechanisms that will keep you safe after your evil shenanigans draw the attention of the Super Friends. The Hall is even capable of traveling through time, so if you've ever had the ambition to go to a point in time where the Wonder Twins were children, and beat them then, you're in luck! True, it may be located in some random swamp, but the beauty on the inside is all that matters. Much like your prom date.
The Downside: Well, every week you're going to get another evil scheme, and like it or not, it's going to fail. Sorry. That's just the way things work. But at least you won't get arrested or anything. Apparently the Legion has diplomatic immunity. On the other hand, you're going to have to hang out with some pretty retarded teammates. Like a talking gorilla. And a jester. And someone who actually has problems kicking Aquaman's ass. Plus there's the fact that apparently the Legion doesn't have a lot of money. I mean, they can't even afford to give Brainiac a decent pair of pants.
The Foot Clan
Mission Statement: World domination. Well, I think that's what they're trying to do. Usually they're just trying to survive turtle attacks...but hey, you gotta start somewhere!
The Boss: If you decide to take a position in the Foot Clan, you will be led by famed war lord and master of ninjitsu, the Shredder. He's a strong and fearless leader, and also a handy kitchen appliance! And in some cases you will have another supervisor, the great lord Krang! Yes, Krang may be a small, pink, brainlike organism that has to live inside a be-speedoed robot, but he's still you boss.
Seriously, what's with the banana hammocks?
Dress Code: Standard ninja garb is the regular code of dress. Black costume and hood so no one can find out your identity. And lets face it, if you routinely get your ass handed to you by mutated reptilian Renaissance painters, you'll want your anonymity.
The Downside: Well, turtles. God damn turtles. And to make it worse, they spew concentrated 80's out of their mouths the entire time you have to fight them. And they're going to kick your ass, you don't have a choice. Even if you're a black belt and are capable to killing a man with naught but your pinky, you're going to get you hand broken on a shell, and then taken out with an accidental punch from a three fingered scaly hand. And you will then need to commit Hari Kari. It's ninja law.
The Boss: Cobra is headed by High Command, and elite group of evil doers that each lend their own special skill into the workings of this well-oiled machine of evil. But the head honcho is the notorious Cobra Commander, the hooded villain with the oddly high pitched voice. And he's a horrible man. How horrible? He punts puppies.
Cobra Commander seen here reenacting the bridge scene from Anchorman
Dress Code: Well, depending on what level you are at, there are many different required uniforms, but for the most part, you're going to be in a blue jumpsuit with a penis shaped helmet covered in vibrant red cobra emblems. Sorry.
The Boss: Oh hell I don't know...Napoleon? Is he still alive? Charles de Gaulle? Jacques Cousteau? You're guess is as good as mine. But I guarantee you whoever it is, they're evil.
The Office: Somehow, the French have managed to control an entire country with over 65 million people caught in their clutches! We didn't really want to do much research into what France looks like, but famed musician Frank Zappa once said "there is no hell, only France," so I'm going to guess it looks a lot like hell.
The typical Frenchman in his native habitat
The Boss: The Guild has many smaller functionary bosses, as it is a bureaucracy. But the head of the Guild is the enigmatic Sovereign. Unless you're in the highest order of the Guild, you will only see the Sovereign as a shrouded face on a television, but if you're blessed enough to see the true face of the Sovereign, you will be in the presence of Grammy Award winning musician David Bowie!
The Office: Members of the Guild are free to build their own bases, and make them as elaborate and random as they can. When in need the Guild also has a main facility where the Sovereign lives.
Dress Code: Similar to the Legion of Doom, members of the Guild are allowed to dress as flamboyantly as their sexuality will allow. The supervillain is allowed to design their own persona, and the costume of their henchmen. And there's no limit but your creativity, hell, you could look like this if you want: