Friday, March 14, 2008

The Grilled Cheese Paradox

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I learn something in college.

So I will take the advantage of sharing this knowledge with our (imaginary?) readers.


This is the Grilled Cheese Paradox.

On the scale of legitimate sandwiches, grilled cheese comes right above the "retard sandwich" (cheese and bread) and below any other legitimate sandwich.
If you don't know the normal recipe for homemade grilled cheese, it is as follows:
Cheese, Bread, Fire, and Love.

Sometimes they add bacon or a tomato in there, but they suck, anyways, so I didn't bother to mention it.  I'm awesome.  So there.

However, as I have observed, college grilled cheese tastes so much better than homemade grilled cheese! I went to seek out the answer, and what I came up with is terrifying. The secret to making a good grilled cheese sandwich is to eliminate that variable of love!

That's right! The reason that sandwiches that your mom makes don't taste as good as college sandwiches is that she loves you.


Of course, if we reverse this equation, and you find that college grilled cheese is less delicious, then your lunch lady loves you more than your mother.
In any case, it's not a good thing.
Be worried.

So, in conclusion, if you want to make a good grilled cheese sandwich, make it with someone you absolutely can't stand in mind.

That's right,
~THE Woody


P.S. Brett, ahead of time, thanks for making my grilled cheese sandwiches so much better.

1 comment:

Jim Bradford said...

My mother's grilled cheese sandwiches were delicious - tinged with the pungent flavor unwanted pregnancies and regret.

I guess your theory is sound!