Mjolnir

Hello all, I'd like to talk to you today about something very near and dear to my heart.


The naming of one's genitalia.

Being as I lack a vagina, I'm not going to discuss them, and instead focus on the naming of one's penis. I don't know why people do this, but they seem to, and there should be some sort of guidelines in place, so I guess I'm going to take a stab at making those guidelines.

First of all, guys, we should avoid using obvious and lame names. Things like "slugger" or "your name Jr." are overused and thus, not cool. Try to be creative at least. And of course, the nerdier the reference, the cooler it actually is. Naming your member "mjolnir" after Thor's Hammer is a surefire way to impress 'the ladies.' But if you want to go even nerdier, go with 80's cartoon references. Optimus Prime will allow you to shout "Autobots, Transform and Roll Out." Which is just fantastic foreplay.



But you could also easily go with "the Sword of Power" because who wouldn't like to yell "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL" before nookie? No one. That's who.

But, for the guy who really wants to be impressive, you've gotta go with the group theme. Why should just the wang get all the glory? If you're creative enough, you should be able to get some kind of name that works in your juevos as well.

And this is where creativity gets to shine.

The most obvious plan is to go with famous groups of three. Such as naming your balls Sigfried and Roy, and your wiener "the White Tiger." Or naming the three of them "Earth, Wind, and Fire." But not all groups of three will work. "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" for instance. Famous duo's can work to an extent as well. "Simon, Garfunkel, and The Sound of Silence" for starters. Or maybe "Batman, Robin, and the Batmobile," that one gives the added bonus of entering the "batcave." But of course, my favorite has to be naming your various bits after the Thundercats...because then you can scream "THUNDERCATS...HO!!!!!!!!" And that's just spectacular.



Image this as your penis